A couple weeks ago, my husband went to Great Clips for a haircut. My good friend Crystal, who usually cuts his hair, wasn’t working that day, so he decided to get his hair cut from another hairdresser there. A little nervous as to if she would cut his hair in the same manner as Crystal, my husband watched intently while “Brittney” cut his hair. When she was done, he not only was relieved that it was cut the same way, but he was taken back by what Brittney said next.
     “Would you like your eyebrows trimmed also?” she said. What? Eyebrows trimmed? That was new one to him. NEVER before had a hairdresser asked him that question. Because she did such a great job on his hair, my husband said, “Sure”. So, she trimmed his eyebrows, which now look great. And, she trimmed them free as an added service. My husband left Great Clips as an extremely satisfied customer, and Brittney got a bigger tip when he paid the bill. A win-win for both.
     What lesson can be learned from this? How can we apply this simple concept of giving more than what a “customer” asks for? Now, keep in mind that customers can not only be considered folks who purchase your products, but also your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, classmates, etc. When we give or serve our “customer” more or something unexpected which is above and beyond, our “customer” is more likely to return the gesture. They may become loyal, repeat customers or remember you when you need a favor. This is called the Law of Reciprocity. Brittney gave my husband a great haircut and trimmed his eyebrows as a free service. In turn and because she did such a good job, he returned the gesture by giving her a nice tip.
     The next time you have the opportunity to serve someone, whether it be on the job or at home, why not go the extra mile and do something extra and outside of the “box”? You may just catch that person off-guard, who will then do something for you in return. And don’t be surprised if the next time your hairdresser asks, “Would you like your eyebrows trimmed with that?” It’s the extra customer service that keeps customers satisfied and who keep coming back.
     Why not try it today? What has worked for you? Please feel free to leave comments below and share tips with others.

THE MOST POWERFUL WAY TO TALK TO YOURSELF
By Adam Kahn

THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT possible ways to talk to yourself. One way is to reassure yourself. For example, before a party you might be feeling a little nervous so you tell yourself, “It’s going to be fine. It’ll turn out okay.”

Another way to talk to yourself is to give yourself advice or instruction. For example, “At the party, focus on drawing people out and getting them to talk about themselves.”

Another possible way to talk to yourself is to put yourself down. “I look like hell. I’m a loser.”

Or you could ask yourself a question. On your way to the party, you could ask yourself, “What can I do tonight that would make it genuinely fun?”

Of all the possible ways to talk to yourself, asking yourself a question is the most powerful. Questions direct your mind and set trains of thought into motion. That’s what makes them so powerful. Questions are generative. They generate thought. And because they are so powerful it really makes a difference to pay attention to the questions you ask yourself and to ask yourself good questions.

Asking yourself a bad question before a party, for instance, can create excessive anxiety and a negative experience. For example, “What if I can’t think of anything to say? What if I embarrass myself? What if I’m a loser for the rest of my life and I never get married and live alone and shunned by the world?” The what-if questions are creating a chain of anxious thoughts and images that produce feelings of anxiety. With thoughts like these running through your mind, you arrive at the party feeling nervous and withdrawn. You can’t think of anything pleasant to say (because your own anxious thoughts are occupying your mind) and you embarrass yourself with your own awkwardness. Keep this up and your dire predictions of a lonely life could come true — not because you are stupid or ugly or have character flaw, but merely because you never paid attention to the questions you asked yourself, and you never tried to ask yourself high-quality questions.

What makes a good question? That’s the obvious next question, isn’t it? What makes a question a good question? The answer is simple. A high-quality question has a good result. It focuses your attention on something that makes you effective. It directs your mind to something that helps you successfully handle the situation. A question is good if it leads to a good result.

Bad question: What if they don’t like me?
Good question: What is something I could do right now that would make me more likable?
Bad question: What if I fail to accomplish my goal?
Good question: What’s the most important thing I could do to make sure I accomplish my goal?

A high-quality question is one that produces an end-result you desire. Check in on the questions you ask yourself (you’ll have to pay attention because your thoughts are happening automatically much of the time) and then ask this question: “What is the result of asking myself that question?”

If the result isn’t good, ask yourself, “What result do I want?” And when you decide on a result, ask yourself, “What question can I ponder that would help me achieve that result?” Don’t settle for the first thing that pops into your head! Think about it. Make a list. Force yourself to come up with ten good possible questions.

Then choose the best question — the one that will produce the best result — and practice asking yourself that question. Literally practice. Ask that question many times. Get used to asking it. Make it familiar and comfortable and automatic.

There are certain times when it would help to ask yourself that question. Practice asking that question at those times.

For example, when Katie is preparing for an interview, she doesn’t want to obsess about her automatic questions, “What if they don’t want me?” and “What if I make a fool of myself in the interview?” She is fully aware that those questions don’t put her in the best frame of mind to have a successful interview.

She decides that a good question to ponder is, “How can I help these people?” That will put her in just the right attitude for an interview. That’s a question that will produce a good result. So while she is getting dressed for the interview, she asks herself that question. She ponders it. When her mind wanders, she comes back to that question. And in the car, on the way to the interview, she thinks about it some more, trying to think of ways she can help her future employers. Whenever her mind drifts to her worries, she asks herself, “Yes, but how can I help these people?” And even walking into the interview, she is wondering how she can help them.

What do you think would be the difference between Katie sitting down for an interview wondering, “What if they don’t want me?” versus sitting down wondering, “How can I help these people?” What kind of difference would she have in attitude? In her demeanor? In her level of stress hormones? In her focus — outward focus versus inward focus? I think you can see it would be a large and visibly obvious difference. The second question would make her more effective in the interview. The second question is more likely to lead to a good result.

Asking yourself a good question is a very powerful tool. What great things do you think it can help you achieve? Good question.

Ask yourself questions that lead to good results.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Adam Khan is the creator of www.youmeworks.com. He also blogs at crushpessimism.com and moodraiser.com, and he’s the author of the books, Self-Help Stuff That Works and Principles For Personal Growth (now being used as a textbook for a college course in San Diego, which you can take online.)

Adam has been published in Prevention Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Body Bulletin, Your Personal Best Newsletter, Wisdom, Think and Grow Rich Newsletter, the Success Strategies newsletter, and he was a regular columnist for At Your Best (a Rodale Press publication) for seven years where his monthly column was voted the readers’ favorite. He’s had his work reprinted all over the Internet and in others’ books all over the world. You can contact him at adam@youmeworks.com.

     I bet there are many of us who think we are pretty good at managing our time.  We multi-task on every level to get things done in the time period we have and feel a sense of self-accomplishment at the end of the day.  We add apps to our smartphones to allow us to get things done at all hours of the day when we have some “down time”.  We try to beat the overload, be more effective and achieve more each day.  But, are we really managing our time well when we feel like a Mack truck hit us from all of the work completed?

DREAMING CASTLES IN THE AIR 

By Ton Pascal

Dreaming castles in the air certainly beats doing physical construction work, but if you are serious about bringing your dreams to completion, or if you are dreaming of a positive change in your life, you must get off your rear end and roll up your sleeves ready to do some work. Daydreams are nice, and they can enliven your daily life, but by themselves they are a weak source of energy. There is something called the Law of Attraction that has been around since the creation of the universe which has a lot do with bringing the dreams you have to fruition. You either take my word for it here, or you can search and learn more about it on the Internet.

As I just mentioned, even with the incredible power of the Law of Attraction working for you, sitting on your butt will not make your dreams come true. This great power only works when you do your part and truly believe in what you are wishing for.

From the very first day man was kicked out of Paradise, he has been relentlessly seeking the formula for the secret to true success. Everyone has their own opinions of what success is all about. Although there is no clear-cut formula on how to achieve this, I have a few tips on how to dream and live a successful life, which I hope will work for the majority of you. Don’t get too ambitious. Take it easy, like the line in the classic Cat Steven’s song “Miles from nowhere, I think I will take my time to reach there.”

Some of you might be very ‘cerebral’ and dislike physical preparation work. Others need to see a visual point of reference in order for their minds to function effectively. Either way, dreaming castles in the air is not a clear enough goal to ensure success. I suggest starting with a visual map of your intentions. Take a piece of cardboard and on write your dream in bold letters at the top. For example, “I want this house!” Or “I want this job!” Write down whatever you want in your life. Now cut out pictures from magazines, newspapers and or photos related to your dream-wish and paste them on this board. These images should clearly show your dream goal.

On the left side of this ‘Map-board’ write the steps needed to achieve this goal. For example if it is a house you want and you don’t have money, write down  “I want this house”. How do you find money? Despite the highly publicized recession this is a lot of if going around. Focus on your main objective: Your Dream House! If you truly believe you deserve and want it, you will get it. Think about what you can work on, sell or save? Make a realistic plan on how to achieve this goal. Write this plan on the ‘Map-board’.

Create a set of positive affirmations for this task. If we stay with the example for “finding money”, the affirmation should be something like “Wealth is pouring into my life.” Or “I am making amazing progress towards all of my goals.”

These affirmations are your psychological support. The positive attitude to attaining your dream gives you a new and clearer purpose in life.  It will help turn your dream intentions into reality. Think about this dream very clearly and visualize it already realized, that you have achieved your dream house, or have your dream job.

If your dream is to get someone into your life, a partner, or a lover, you won’t find him or her by staying at home.  Write down, for example, “find a partner”, then on the left side of the ‘map-board’ write, “get out and socialize”. Whatever your dream is, write down the name of specific goal, and then themain road to get there. Visualize your goals and create positive affirmations for every step of the way towards achieving them. Give yourself time. It is your life you are creating, be patient. Don’t expect instant success.  Give yourself time.  This is your dream life you are creating, not a Hollywood movie.

Whatever age you are, you have acquired a certain living knowledge of what is good or bad for you. Apply to your life what you have learned up until now, but add to it your own individuality, personality, and joy de vivre.   It is not just being alive that makes your life worth living, but rather the depth and sense you bring to your life. Go beyond your limitations. Take a look at some of the great people who made an incredible impact in the world when they were told that either they were too poor, too inexperienced, too unattractive, or too weak to make it as a success in life. Terry Fox, one leg cancer amputee crisscrossed a continent on foot. Claude Monet slowly became blind from cataracts but still painted his masterwork The Nynpheas. Marlee Matlin, deaf from the age of 18 month, won the Best Actress Academy Award in 1986 for her debut performance in “Children of a Lesser God. Helen Keller, blind and deaf, became a noted speaker, author and crusader for pacifism, women’s right to vote and birth control. The list is very long.

Don’t forget to do your daily affirmations and think positive. A positive attitude will greatly influence your actions and add pleasure and quality time to your life.

Considering that life is short my advice to you is: break rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.

Much love,

Ton Pascal

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ton Pascal is a self-thought self-help advocate and author.  Your thoughts and dreams will provide for you a rich, meaningful and abundant life; this is the Law of Attraction at work. It will enable you to create the map of your life’s journey. It is not just being alive that makes life worth living, but the depth and sense you bring to your life. http://www.dreamyourlifepositively.com/

SPECIAL LIVES
By Annie Abraham

The stage is set for a dance performance. It’s bright and well lit with music slowly building up. The dancers take center stage. There are mixed group of nine, both boys and girls. There was no nervousness, no tension; just bright smiling faces waiting for that right moment to start dancing.

They were dressed in gorgeous red, brilliant green and lovely black. Satin ribbons of red and green alternated on hands to act as props. They were helping each other keep their positions right on stage before the performance.

The dance started off with gusto, beautiful movements and synchronization. They were smiling and had their rhythm perfect. It was enthralling and beautiful. The performance ended with the same gusto and as they bowed out of stage, the audience erupted into a thunderous applause. It went on lauding the dancers to stand there and smile their beautiful smiles.

So what’s special about a dance performance? The children are from a school for special children with various forms of growth difficulties. The list of debilitating and restraining ailments was long and all that the hall full of audience expected was maybe children who weren’t too sure of themselves.

The dance ended but the music continued in our hearts.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Annie Abraham is a mother, a wife, a daughter, a professional, a MDI Subscriber. She believes in the “Power of Smile” and love to “Live” life thanks God always! She says she is a reluctant blogger at http://cappuccinogal.blogspot.com Leave a note on her blog if her story moved you too.

     A little over a week ago, my husband gave me an awesome Valentine’s Day present, the movie “Fireproof”.  This movie was one of our favorites, and we had loaned it out to another couple, to whom we can’t remember (ever had that happen to you)?  So, my husband went out and bought another copy for our video library.  In the movie, one main theme resonated with us.  Marriages and relationships aren’t fireproof.  Sometimes, you get “burned.” 
     Relationships take all forms – with your spouse, children, co-workers, friends, neighbors, and so forth.  You deal with these people day in and day out.  You interact with them when you are at your worst and your best.  How do you handle or treat these relationships?  How you address each one is much different, but the core principle question to ask yourself is do you communicate with this person in an atmosphere of respect and courtesy?  Is your character honorable to earn respect in return?  If no, what can you work on to change your behavior?  Do you feel “broken”?
     Fireproof relationships don’t mean that fire will never come.  It will.  But, when it does, you will be able to withstand it.  How do you make your marriage and relationships “fireproof”?  Communicate better, share more, get rid of selfishness, quit being “full of yourself”, and focus on the qualities with which Colossians 3:12 teaches us to clothe ourselves: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  When you have a committed relationship to live for Jesus, life becomes much easier.  Don’t let your relationships burn to the ground because of something that can change your life in a positive way you never thought would ever happen. 

GOING BEYOND THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
By Ton Pascal

Our mind is in a constant dialogue with itself, sending out messages that will create our living experience according to our present perceptions. This mental chatter is our consciousness deciding whether or not we should have this or that, whether to run to or from, whether to think this or that, and what we are going to do next.

Our brain is incessantly working, the complex organic electric signals generated by our inner self, even when we are dreaming. What we perceive now as true and good for us, is instantly converted into a powerful energy. This force will support all actions, people and experiences, for what we think, at this very moment in time, are our personal needs or desires. And le voilà, we sent out our message into the cosmos. These thoughts are a powerful energy that will seek out and connect us with a similar, complementary twin force. This is what we call The Law of Attraction.

Did you ever stop to think about all the people, incidents and experiences that have come into your life? People come into your life for “a reason, a season and a lifetime”, says the old prayer. But, why? This doesn’t happen by sheer coincidence. In this instance, you have to look beyond the Law of Attraction for the reason. Someone is in your life because you have expressed, either consciously or subconsciously to yourself, a need or a wish.

In our ever-evolving society, even the most timid, reserved or reclusive person has someone or something connecting with him or her every day. Whether it is by telephone, Internet, fax, or direct contact, people are coming into our lives, creating for us a new living experience every moment, every day. With these connections, we are constantly creating and recreating our own reality with every thought and action we take. This is how the Law of Attraction works.

Be very careful here and pay good attention to your thoughts-this power doesn’t discriminate. It will bring to you exactly what you had in mind then, be it good or bad. The Law of Attraction will bring everything you wish for into your life. Just for you, a vast supply of the most incredible gifts are stored there, in the “warehouse” of the universe. Good and bad, heaven and hell, neatly stored for you to choose from and take home.

The perception you have of yourself, be it conscious or unconscious, is the guide and the road map with which this universal force will match up and populate your life. Just remember, this reality will change every time you change your perceptions, as will the world around you. For some people this principle is somehow frightening! They are usually people who are not even aware that their perceptions are of the negative kind. Life for them looks like a lovely movie going bad all of a sudden. All that they consciously wanted, needed, or desired was a good husband/wife, a great job or a good place to live. What did they get? A moronic, abusive, disgusting partner, or a boss who is a bully. and let’s not mention the living conditions!

What went wrong? People living this kind of nightmarish reality seem to be still attached to perceptions from a past that is no longer healthy and fulfilling for them. Very often, they perceive themselves as the “bad boy” or “bad girl” that their parents often told them they were. They are often moody, distant and lacking in self-confidence. They haven’t yet been able to detach from their early perceptions inflicted on them by parents, friends, companions, or the system. If you find yourself in this predicament, get out of there fast!

A simple test is to look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love myself.” What did you get back, a beautiful smile or resistance? Do you need help? Look for articles on affirmations and start studying them at once. You know that you are in a state of attachment when you feel that what comes out of your mouth doesn’t bounce well with your heart; or that when you do your daily affirmations, there is a sense of panic and a need to control your thoughts.

Being detached is being non-resistant, transforming panic into peace of mind. In this state of mind you allow life to flow normally, positively and peacefully. It is only in this state that you can create the reality you truly desire. You maximize the power of your mind and align yourself directly with the energy source, thus quickly manifesting your desires-you went beyond of the Law of Attraction. This cosmic force and energy is not there to judge or suggest a different path for you. It accepts your thoughts and wishes as law.

When you know, understand, and live your life as one universal mind, detachment comes easily and you’ll see and create your world quite differently. A good exercise is to start your day with positive affirmations. You will immediately find out if you are still attached to old perceptions or not. Work on it! When you feel good and positive about yourself, the path for your positive energy is open, and the planet and your community succeeds.

Now that you have learned how to build the emotional foundation for positive living, life becomes quite enjoyable. You can now move on and be the teacher, support and friend other positive people want so much to connect with. Have a great and happy journey.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ton Pascal is a self-thought self-help advocate and author. Your thoughts and dreams will provide for you a rich, meaningful and abundant life; this is the Law of Attraction at work. It will enable you to create the map of your life’s journey. It is not just being alive that makes life worth living, but the depth and sense you bring to your life. http://www.dreamyourlifepositively.com/

OLYMPIC SIZED PITY POOL
By Miles Patrick Yohnke
© 2012 All Rights Reserved

An old Cherokee Indian Grandfather was teaching his grandson about life. “Inside each one of us there are two wolves constantly fighting,” he said. “One of the wolves is positive and is filled with peace, calm, love and kindness. The other wolf is negative and filled with fear, anxiety, self-pity and self-doubt.”

“Grandfather,” said the boy. “If the wolves are always fighting, which one of them will win?”

“The one that you feed the most,” said the Grandfather.

This is a wonderful Native American folk tale that is so true. Self-pity keeps us inactive and many times we are discouraged early on by economic conditions, disabilities, contrarian parents, peer pressure, teachers or others. We develop a tendency to become bogged down in our feelings of pain and fear, which don’t serve any other function except to keep us in our own made pity pool.

From our lives experiences, we become world-class athletes with our feelings of pain and fear but these don’t serve any other functions except to keeping us struggling to swim in our pool, often drowning in self-doubt and negative self-talk.

Self-pity is a very powerful emotion. Each one of us can find ourselves there from time to time and none of us are immune to it but that’s okay. It just means that we are alive. That we feel. Now it’s okay to splash around periodically. But if you find that you’re spending a lot of time training in your pool and it feels as if it has become an Olympic sized pity pool, it’s time to get out.

Self-pity is a powerful habit. As the old saying goes, “Misery loves company” (which would also make a great name for a bar). Because this powerful feeling of self-pity evokes a reciprocal response from others, then doing laps in the pity pool can become a powerful habit. As with all habits, if it is indulged in and well fed, it can become tenacious and prevent us from choosing to climb out.

Self-pity often masks other feelings, keeping us stuck within a vicious cycle of despair, rather than exploring what our pain is trying to teach us. Learn to recognize, take charge of, and change your emotional reactions to painful feelings. Mostly, we learn the art of avoidance – also known as blocking, denial, projection, or resistance from the way painful feelings were denied us or avoided during our childhood. It takes a steep learning curve to recognize your own resistance and to ask for help to uncover often deeply buried feelings.

Learn to become aware of any negative behavior that you are modeling. Once we recognize that we have a tendency to deal with circumstances in this way, we can learn to detect when we are swimming in that self-made pity pool and learn how to haul ourselves out.

You most likely are reading this as you have signed-up to a self-help or inspirational website. This shows that you’re looking for betterment. That you are now reaching for a betterment of yourself. In doing so, we are able to change negative emotions into positive ones.

Adrienne Whitner writes: “Water is hot at 211 degrees but boils at 212, and thus is able to power a locomotive. That we are locomotives, our minds are the locomotives, and we must train and develop that ‘one degree’. We are going from 211 (2011) to 212 (2012). That this ‘one degree’ can change the world!”

Now is the time to be kind, gentle and patient with ourselves as we open our minds to different and more vigorous ways of thinking and being. It is time that we give ourselves a red ribbon for questioning rather than swimming in our Olympic sized pity pool. That pool should be closed forever.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Globally recognized and award-nominated engineer, producer, writer, poet and founder and C.E.O. of 5 Star Productions, Miles Patrick Yohnke brings many years of experience to the music industry; including many awards in sales and marketing. If you are looking at developing your career, Yohnke offers consulting. For more info, please contact him at: miles@5-starproductions.com.

VALENTINE’S DAY AMBUSH
By Kathleene S. Baker

Valentine dinners with my parents became a thing of the past once I was old enough to date and crushes ran hot and cold. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, more than likely I wasn’t missed those evenings anyway!

Still, before heading out for the evening I always received a sweet card, possibly a small gift of sorts, and upon returning home later; I indulged in my fair share of whatever home-made, mouth-watering dessert Mother had prepared for the occasion. Typically it was a layered cake baked in heart-shaped pans, a scrumptious treat she served each year and I’m proud to say those special pans are now in my possession.

My senior year in high school, Kansas was under siege on Valentine’s Day with a winter storm blasting its way across the plains. School was dismissed early and “puppy love” dates were cancelled. After a few years without my presence for the evening, I’d be celebrating with my parents. Amazingly, it came to be an event that left a picture perfect imprint in my mind and an unsurpassed sentiment in my heart.

Mother had prepared Dad’s favorite meal for dinner but as the storm intensified she began to watch the clock and pace the floor.

“I’m really getting worried. With this weather I knew your Dad would be a little late getting home, but not this late!” She busied herself keeping dinner warm determined not to burn anything, but continued her march to and fro glancing out windows for headlights.

As a self-absorbed teenager, I continued with my phone conversation until I heard the door open and Mother wailing, “Oh, where have you been? I’ve just been worried sick!”

I rounded the corner to see Dad with his arms full of flowers and a box of chocolates. He smiled, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Honey!” Mom threw her arms around him…causing him to juggled gifts while trying graciously to accept Mom’s embrace.

The bouquet of flowers took center stage on the dinner table and we seated ourselves for dinner.

I reached for my napkin and spied a small package by my plate that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

“What’s this,” I asked filled with excitement and surprise for Mother had already given me a sweet card and a tiny figurine.

“Just open it!” Dad’s brilliant blue eyes sparkled with mischief.

I ripped into the package lickety-split and could barely speak; it was a new bottle of Ambush cologne, quite a popular and affordable scent for teenagers at that day in time.

“Dad! Did you buy this all by yourself?” I squealed.

“Well, just kind of. It took some help from the clerk—actually it took a lot of help!”

I was stunned beyond belief. A Valentine gift purchased by Dad; Mom always did the shopping. I levitated from my chair to give him a bear hug and big kiss!

“You know I’ve seen that perfume around here forever and figured I could remember the name if I thought about western movies. Ya know how they’re always ambushing one another. Well, everything was fine until the clerk as me what brand…I told her Apache.”

“Apache!” I giggled until tears rolled down my cheeks.

Dad snorted and informed me it really wasn’t that funny at all. The clerk insisted there was no such cologne, while he swore there was. They went ‘round and ‘round until he decided maybe he had forgotten the name—but made it clear he would recognize the smell his daughter seemingly bathed in. That’s when the “misting marathon” began. He wasn’t leaving the store without the gift he was determined to purchase.

“It wasn’t long until I started to sneeze non-stop, my nose began to run, and I almost got sick from so many smells. Just when I thought I’d have to take a break outside in the fresh air before continuing, the clerk suddenly hit on it!

“That’s it, that’s it! Thank you for your time ma’am.” He smiled at the clerk and sneezed once again as he charged out the door towards his car through an all-out blizzard.

Never once have I asked Dad what possessed him to buy me a gift that year. Realizing my days under his roof were would quickly coming to an end has always been my suspicion.

Roses, teddy bears, and cupids abound each February creating what will one day be fond remembrances. As for me, comical but precious memories of my Valentine’s Day Ambush are revisited in vivid detail! They reside in a special niche of my heart…the one that’s reserved just for my dad!

©2009Rev.Kathleene S. Baker
Chicken Soup for the Soul Contributor
Published in Chicken Soup for the Soul – THANKS DAD

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kathy and husband Jerry reside in Plano, Texas with two fur babies, Hank and Samantha. Kathy contributes to magazines, ezines, anthologies, Chicken Soup for the Soul and writes a weekly column entitled Heart of Texas. Kathy can be reached at Lnstrlady@aol.com or www.txyellowrose.com

How Do You Love?
By Sandra Abell

Yesterday I broke a crystal vase that was important to me. Someone I love gave it to me, and I was really upset with my clumsiness.

My husband, seeing my distress, was soothing and calm, and said, “Let me see what I can do with this.” While I continued to rant at myself, he quietly took the pieces away, worked his magic and made it like new again. When he brought it back to me his face was filled with sweetness, and it occurred to me that this repaired vase was a gift of love.

I began thinking about all the ways he shows me he loves me. Words are nice, but his actions speak volumes, and I’m so very blessed to have him in my life.

I then thought of a woman I know who complains that her husband and children don’t love her. She says they never say it, and she feels that nobody cares. However, when I look at her family I realize that there is a lot of love being given. She just doesn’t recognize it so doesn’t know how to receive it.

When her husband goes to work at a job he doesn’t like, so that she can do what she wants, which is stay home and raise the children, that’s a gift of love. When her adolescent son offers to pick up something at the store so she won’t have to pack up the smaller kids to go out, that is his way of telling her he loves her.

Love is all around us, but we’re often like my friend who expects it to come in a specific form. When it doesn’t, we miss it and feel unloved.

So this month I’m reflecting on being aware of ALL the ways people show me love, and being happy to receive it in whatever form it’s given. How about you?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sandy is a business and life coach, an author, educator, speaker and a Licensed Professional Counselor. She specializes in working with executives, business owners, professionals, entrepreneurs and people in transition. Sandy publishes a free monthly newsletter entitled Focusing On Your Success. Please visit Sandy on her website at www.insidejobscoach.com