How Do You Love?
By Sandra Abell

Yesterday I broke a crystal vase that was important to me. Someone I love gave it to me, and I was really upset with my clumsiness.

My husband, seeing my distress, was soothing and calm, and said, “Let me see what I can do with this.” While I continued to rant at myself, he quietly took the pieces away, worked his magic and made it like new again. When he brought it back to me his face was filled with sweetness, and it occurred to me that this repaired vase was a gift of love.

I began thinking about all the ways he shows me he loves me. Words are nice, but his actions speak volumes, and I’m so very blessed to have him in my life.

I then thought of a woman I know who complains that her husband and children don’t love her. She says they never say it, and she feels that nobody cares. However, when I look at her family I realize that there is a lot of love being given. She just doesn’t recognize it so doesn’t know how to receive it.

When her husband goes to work at a job he doesn’t like, so that she can do what she wants, which is stay home and raise the children, that’s a gift of love. When her adolescent son offers to pick up something at the store so she won’t have to pack up the smaller kids to go out, that is his way of telling her he loves her.

Love is all around us, but we’re often like my friend who expects it to come in a specific form. When it doesn’t, we miss it and feel unloved.

So this month I’m reflecting on being aware of ALL the ways people show me love, and being happy to receive it in whatever form it’s given. How about you?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sandy is a business and life coach, an author, educator, speaker and a Licensed Professional Counselor. She specializes in working with executives, business owners, professionals, entrepreneurs and people in transition. Sandy publishes a free monthly newsletter entitled Focusing On Your Success. Please visit Sandy on her website at www.insidejobscoach.com

Keep On, Keeping On
Author Unknown

Colonel Sanders went to more than 1,000 places trying to sell his chicken recipe before he found an interested buyer. The fact that we can buy Kentucky Fried Chicken today attests to his perseverance. Thomas Edison tried almost 10,000 times before he succeeded in creating the electric light. If he had given up, you would be reading this in the dark!

The original business plan for what was to become Federal Express was given a failing grade on Fred Smith¹s college exam. And, in the early days, their employees would cash their paychecks at retail stores, rather than banks. This meant it would take longer for the money to clear, thereby giving Fed Ex more time to cover their payroll.

Sylvester Stallone had been turned down a thousand times by agents and was down to his last $600 before he found a company that would produce Rocky. The rest is history! To truly succeed requires a total commitment to your goal. Too many people make the mistake of quitting just short of success. Keep going no matter what. If you really believe in what you are doing, give it all you’ve got and don’t give up.

You will succeed. There is no such thing as failure. Every action produces an outcome. It may not always be the outcome you are looking for, but it is an outcome nonetheless. If you monitor the results of your actions and keep correcting what is not working, you will eventually produce the outcome you are looking for.

Be Persistent .  As was said about President Calvin Coolidge: “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with great talent. Genius will not. Un-rewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not. The world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

Don’t quit before the miracle happens!

     As we celebrate another year’s beginning, the phrase we tend to hear is, “Happy New Year!”  Have you ever heard, “Happy Old Year?”  No?  Why not?  Is it because we are optimistic that the new year is going to be different from the prior one or are we saying “Happy New Year” just to be nice?
     What is your plan or resolution for this new year?  Are you wanting things in your life to change for the positive?  If so, what are you doing about it?  I must confess, almost every year, I resolve to losing weight.  I really mean it in 2012 since I have a milestone class reunion. By the end of January, that resolution is no longer a thought in my head.  I’ve given up.  I’m not making any or much noticeable progress.  Sound familiar?
     What is the secret to making your resolutions and goals a reality and not a not-so-distant memory?  What can you do today that will yield progress in the coming days, while not getting discouraged?   Do you truly want to make it a “Happy New Year?” 

Here are three suggestions on how to make it happen:
    • Is the economy getting you down?  How about a present situation at home or work?  Though you may get into a “funk” at times, decide to be happy anyway.  Ok, if you don’t, when?  When the economy gets better?  When that ideal job opportunity opens up? 
    • Don’t wait to take action and then be happy.  Do it now.  Really, Darcy?  I don’t know my circumstances, you say?  True, I don’t.  But, happiness is a treasure and a choice that we have access to right now.  Don’t wait until you lose that extra 10 lbs., until you get married, until you buy a house, until you have kids, until you retire, and…well, you get the picture.  Be happy now.  Happiness is in your head.
    • You control your own destiny.  Do you want 2012 to be the same as 2011?   Were there events in 2011 that you would like NOT to see repeated in 2012?  I know I do.  But, how can history not repeat itself?  The answer lies making good choices.  If you sit around and do nothing, what‘s going to happen?  Nothing.  If you make a poor decision without weighing the consequences, you may end up in the same predicament that you were before.  Why not take control of what happens to you by evaluating your current situation and learning from it to make a better choice?  What can YOU do to take control of what happens to you?

     Let’s put the “Happy” back into “Happy New Year”.   Happiness is now, not after a ten pound loss, not after my children leave to go to college, not after you retire.  Get out of your funk and decide to be happy by taking action now.  You control how you feel.  Happiness is inside you always and helps you get through the tough times.  Why not let it out and have a Happy 2012?  What are some ways that you do this?

THANKFUL
by Annie Abraham  

1.  The birds chirping early morning

2.  Waking up and seeing your partner sleeping peacefully next to you

3.  Kissing your sleeping child

4.  Seeing the early morning sky

5.  The sunset over the horizon

6.  The first cup of tea

7.  The steaming hot coffee

8.  Sloppy kisses from your kids

9.  The unexpected back rub from your partner

10.  The sloppy-sleepy-warm hug from your partner

11.  Steaming hot food after a tired day

12.  The delight on your parents face when you visit them

13.  Your mother fussing over your food, however old you are.

14.  Your dad saying there is enough gas in their car for you to go around

15.  Sharing jokes with your nieces and nephews

16.  The family prayer time 17. Dinner with parents

18.  Handmade gifts from your kids

19.  Parents good health

20.  The unexpected hug from loved ones

21.  The reassuring squeeze from your partner before the visit to the doctor

22.  The church bells ringing

23.  Lovely book to read

24.  A call from your favorite cousin

25.  A friend saying hello with no reason

26.  A smile from your colleague

27.  Water flowing through the taps

28.  A roof over your head

29.  A comfortable bed and pillow to curl up on

30.  Comfortable shoes to walk in

31.  A welcome shriek from your kid when you walk in tired after work

32.  To walk barefoot

33.  The first leaf on the new plant you have

34.  The bloom on the rose plant

35.  For all the people who love you

36.  Coffee with a dear friend

37.  Your dog nuzzling you awake

38.  Kid performing on stage

39.  Christmas

40.  Santa’s visits

41.  Tooth fairy

42.  Wonderful doctor

43.  A fairy disguised as a dentist

44.  A nice cool drink when you are tired

45.  To rest after a tired day’s work

46.  Contact lenses

47.  Lovely friends

48.  Amazing family

49.  Nutty adorable buddies

50.  Clean air

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Annie Abraham is a daughter, a wife, a mother, a professional and a MDI subscriber and “Me” with a zest to “Live” life thanking God always! Anne can be contacted at annie_ab@yahoo.com

       Being a caregiver of a brain injury survivor isn’t easy.   Each caregiver’s story is different.  Some have experienced some similar and uniquely different things as they deal with the family member who has a brain injury.
     Each caregiver’s story will depend on which family member has sustained a brain injury and, from that point on, the other family member(s) take on new positions or new roles in the family. Some of these new roles include:
    • Paying the household and survivor’s bills
    • Taxi driver 
    • Walking & talking daily planner
    • Case manager
    • Housekeeper
    • Cook
    • Role model
    • Financial provider
    
     What are 5 things that we should know about caregivers as they try to fill the above roles for us survivors?  Caregivers possibly are:
    • Striving to stay positive and proactive throughout this experience
    • Feeling a sense of isolation from not only their loved one but other ”friends”
    • Feeling like they are “walking on eggshells”
    • Wanting to grieve, even though their loved one is beside them
    • Feeling like they are flying by the seat of their pants on a regular basis.
 
     There are many “issues” that we survivors deal with everyday.  Sometimes, it takes all of our energy to focus on what we are doing and trying to remember things.  However, we should also recognize the “issues” felt by our caregivers and try to help them out whenever possible.  By doing this, it will only help us, as they try to take care of us in living our “new” life and dealing with our injury.  What other things should we survivors know about caregivers?  Please feel free to leave a comment.

* Thanks to Rosalyn Fast, caregiver of a survivor of brain injury, for the main points for this article.

Life’s “Living” Moments

By Annie Abraham

How many “living” moments did you experience today, in the last one-week or one month? Can’t remember! True because most of us are so busy trying to live life that what we are actually doing is not living but trying to catch up. Because we are conditioned to believe that if we catch up now, we can live later. Alas, not to be.

Step back, sit down , take a deep breath. The world is still going on as usual. Nothing changed because you took a breather. When did you last take time to smell a flower, walk barefoot on dewy grass, enjoy a baby’s gurgle or just plain enjoyed the aroma and flavour of your coffee?

I hear you saying, “Gee, I don’t remember”.

Life is fast paced and never ending. It’s a list of to do things, which begins and never end. There is no recipe for being a perfect daughter or son or parent or partner.  These roles have evolved over ages and still will evolve. What the world needs is more love, more care, more safety and above all, more loving people around .God may be busy at times but He has so thoughtfully made You and Me to be his messengers of love, peace and care.

So whenever you can smile at someone who least expects it. Give your kid an unexpected hug, hold your partner’s hand, call your parents, send someone a nice message. Go ahead, do this and many such small gestures. You can be rest assured that you have planted a smile on someone’s soul.

Go, start counting your tender moments. Trust me, soon you will have many!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Annie Abraham is a mother, a wife, a daughter, a professional, a MDI Subscriber and “Me” with a zest to “Live” life thanking God always! If her story touched you, contact Annie at annie_ab@yahoo.com

UNTIL IT SNOWS 
By Bob Perks

Until it snows.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bob’s signature story, “I Wish You Enough,” has been released by Thomas Nelson Publishers and features a collection of his stories based on the eight wishes expressed in the original story. His inspiring true stories are based on the people he meets in his travels. Bob’s unique perspective on life makes him “the philosopher of everyday moments.”  For more information visit his website at: http://www.IWishYouEnough.com or email Bob your comments to: perksblog@hotmail.com

CHRISTMAS IS FOR LOVE 

Author Unknown

Christmas is for love. It is for joy, for giving and sharing, for laughter, for reuniting with family and friends, for tinsel and brightly decorated packages. But mostly, Christmas is for love. I had not believed this until a small elf-like student with wide-eyed innocent eyes and soft rosy cheeks gave me a wondrous gift one Christmas.

Mark was an 11 year old orphan who lived with his aunt, a bitter middle aged woman greatly annoyed with the burden of caring for her dead sister’s son. She never failed to remind young Mark, if it hadn’t been for her generosity, he would be a vagrant, homeless waif. Still, with all the scolding and chilliness at home, he was a sweet and gentle child.

I had not noticed Mark particularly until he began staying after class each day (at the risk of arousing his aunt’s anger, I later found) to help me straighten up the room. We did this quietly and comfortably, not speaking much, but enjoying the solitude of that hour of the day. When we did talk, Mark spoke mostly of his mother. Though he was quite small when she died, he remembered a kind, gentle, loving woman, who always spent much time with him.

As Christmas drew near however, Mark failed to stay after school each day. I looked forward to his coming, and when the days passed and he continued to scamper hurriedly from the room after class, I stopped him one afternoon and asked why he no longer helped me in the room. I told him how I had missed him, and his large gray eyes lit up eagerly as he replied, “Did you really miss me?”

I explained how he had been my best helper. “I was making you a surprise,” he whispered confidentially. “It’s for Christmas.” With that, he became embarrassed and dashed from the room. He didn’t stay after school any more after that.

Finally came the last school day before Christmas. Mark crept slowly into the room late that afternoon with his hands concealing something behind his back. “I have your present,” he said timidly when I looked up. “I hope you like it.” He held out his hands, and there lying in his small palms was a tiny wooden box.

“Its beautiful, Mark. Is there something in it?” I asked opening the top to look inside. ”

“Oh you can’t see what’s in it,” He replied, “and you can’t touch it, or taste it or feel it, but mother always said it makes you feel good all the time, warm on cold nights, and safe when you’re all alone.”

I gazed into the empty box. “What is it Mark,” I asked gently, “that will make me feel so good?” “It’s love,” he whispered softly, “and mother always said it’s best when you give it away.” And he turned and quietly left the room.

So now I keep a small box crudely made of scraps of wood on the piano in my living room and only smile as inquiring friends raise quizzical eyebrows when I explain to them that there is love in it.

Yes, Christmas is for gaiety, mirth and song, for good and wondrous gifts. But mostly, Christmas is for love.

MEMORY TREE

By Michael T. Smith

I pull the boxes of ornaments from the closet and prepare myself for a trip into the past.  No photo album can bring back as many memories as my box of ornaments.  Like a picture, each ornament contains a memory.

There’s the box of wooden ones, handmade and painted with care.  Within the assortment is a small man on skis, a mouse on a swing, even Santa in his sleigh.  I remember when my Georgia and I bought them.  It was our first Christmas as a married couple.  We hung them on the tree and dreamed how our future children would love them.

I pick up a ceramic Santa.  My aunt gave it to me when I was four.  He holds a tiny box in his hands.  There’s a tear in its wrapper, a tear caused by a boy who couldn’t contain his curiosity.

A tiny brass bell is next. My brothers and I had fun with this bell.  We took turns hiding it in the tree.  The others had to find it.  We played “Find the Bell,” until mom yelled at us for shaking the tree to make the bell ring and reveal its hiding spot.  Mom knew how much the bell meant to me.  The year I had my own family, she gave me the bell.  I played the same game with my own children.

I pick up a pretty red ball. My daughter touched it when she was two.  We’d put Venessa down for her nap and decorated while she slept.  We wanted to surprise her.  We finished.  I sat back with a glass of eggnog and waited for her to wake.  I see her face again.  She ran from her room, fully charged and ready to take on the world.  She was five feet from the tree before she looked up and stopped.  Her eyes opened wide.  Her jaw dropped open, as she emitted a small cry of delight.  She walked forward, raised her hand, and touched a red ball – the ball now hold in my hand.  She turned to me.  Her eyes reflected the colored lights.  “Daddy, what is it?”  “It’s Christmas, Sweetie.”  My voice quivered with emotion, “It’s Christ’s birthday. We’re going to celebrate it.”  Her sparkling eyes, hanging jaw, and soft skin made me hold my arms out. She ran into them and gave me a hug that would have melted even Scrooge’s hard heart.

I pick up a cracked green ball, a veteran of the first time I allowed my kids to decorate the tree.  They hung all the balls on one branch.  When they turned for another, I quickly moved the one before it to a better spot.  I laughed when they told Grandma they decorated all by themselves.

Near the bottom of the box, I find a brass plaque.  It brings back a special memory.  It has my son’s name and birth date on it.  Justin was supposed to be a New Year’s Eve baby, but he decided he wasn’t going to miss Christmas.  Justin was three weeks old, when we took him to the Christmas Eve service at our church.

That night, our minister explained to us the real meaning of Christmas.  As she spoke, she wandered down the aisle and stopped beside us.  She reached down and asked, “May I?”  I nodded and handed him to her.  She lifted him into her arms.  She was quiet as she walked back to face the congregation.  Turning, she held my son high and said, “This is the real meaning of Christmas: The birth of a new life!”  She cradled my son as she spoke.  A single tear trickled down my cheek.  She walked around the sanctuary, displaying my son to those gathered for the Christmas service.  The room seemed empty of everyone but her and my family.  Overtaken with emotion, I reached out and hugged Georgia and Vanessa to my side, and thought, “This will be a Christmas to remember.”

In 2003 I pulled the ornaments out again.  Justin and I were not going to be home for Christmas that year.  We were going to spend Christmas with friends in Ohio, but I wanted Christmas to be the way it always was.  I wanted Christmas to be the way Justin remembered.  Georgia had died two months earlier.  Justin and I were alone in New Jersey.  Vanessa was in Ohio.

It had to be the way it was before – the tree to be perfect.  The ornaments – the memories – had new meaning that Christmas.  Grief held a strong grip on my heart, but the memories on my tree overcame them.  A tear trickled from my eye. Good things may pass, but their memories hang on.

A year later, I hung a new ornament on my tree.  It was one I got for Ginny, my new wife.  It’s a penguin.  She loves penguin.  This year, I have one she gave me to hang – new pages have been added to my album.  I hang my personal album for all to see, sit back, and relax.

For several weeks, I search my memory tree until I find my special spot.  It could be anywhere on the tree, but I know it’s there – a spot where light shines perfectly on one or two balls and reflects off a length of tinsel.  It’s perfect in every way.  I lock my eyes on it and enjoy its beauty.

I relive my life.  It’s there for all to enjoy.  I invite you to share it with me.

Look at the ornaments.  Flip the pages.  Share my life.

It’s my memory tree.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Michael is a writer in his spare time, works as a project manager, and believes in sharing a smile, a wave, a kind word, and a tear.  His life experiences have given him a special heart that shows in his writing.  His stories appear in newspapers, books: Chicken Soup, Thin Threads, Catholic Digest and online.

Hi!  Yesterday, I received a call from WTHR Channel 13 (NBC affiliate) in Indianapolis.  They were doing a story on Gabby Giffords’ return to Congress to cast her vote for the debt ceiling bill and my experience and advice on returning to work after receiving a traumatic brain injury.

The awesome interview aired around 6:10 PM ET.  Click on the picture above to be taken to the written interview text.  Thanks!